#also the way some of the people getting so mad about this stuff are the same ones who will say max will marry driver x etc
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Day twenty-seven of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))
They spend a lot longer than Tim actually expects Kon to want to spend on that “couple things”, since obviously they can’t start with the exciting stuff and he just assumes Kon will get bored in about thirty seconds’ worth of Tim Drake’s awkward and over-detailed explanations of every little thing and also will experience immediate regret about admitting that he both doesn’t know how to do something and isn’t going to be immediately good at said something. Any time Kon’s not immediately good at something they’re doing in training he gets mad or pissy or at least frustrated and acts like a total asshole about it, but right now . . .
Kon falls off the board and lands on his ass for the third time and for the third time just grins up at him sheepishly, and Tim feels very weird and not-normal and sort of just–smitten about it, really.
“This is way different from surfing,” Kon says with a laugh, shaking his head, which is a little surprising to hear for some reason. If nothing else, Tim would’ve expected Kon to get even more frustrated, if he was assuming any apparent surfing experience might’ve helped him out here. He has heard it usually does, so maybe Kon’s just out of practice or his own standards are just, uh–a little too Bat, maybe.
“Is it?” he asks, offering Kon a hand up again. Kon did it for him earlier, and anyway, it kinda makes him feel like carrying the other’s bags for him and being trusted with his weight feels. And Kon takes his hand, just like the last two times, and lets him help him up like there’s literally any reason he needs to bother to. “I’ve never tried surfing.”
“It’s wicked,” Kon says, grinning at him again and giving his hands a quick squeeze before heading over to retrieve the board from where it skidded when he fell. He does not fall like a Bat, but he definitely does know how to. He’s just also clearly expecting his falls to be more of a “terminal velocity” situation than a “tripping off a skateboard” situation. Which, like–fair, yeah. “You gotta use your arms way more, though, and like, it just feels way more like you’re riding something, you know? Concrete just kinda sits there and there’s way less wind to worry about.”
“Oh, yeah, I never really thought about the wind,” Tim says. Waves, definitely, but he didn’t follow the thought to its logical conclusion. “Pretty sure people based skateboarding on surfing to start, though, so is it really that different? Like, mechanically?”
“I dunno,” Kon says with a shrug, tucking the board under his arm and trotting back over to him. “I mean, kinda? But also wheels are way harder to feel the ground through ‘cuz they’re spinning the whole time, so sometimes I get dizzy if I hold onto ‘em too much. And like, water moves a lot more than concrete, but the board’s totally flat against it, so like–easier to feel it, I guess? Just feels, like, more intense, kinda.”
“. . . that’s really interesting, but are you seriously trying to use your TTK when you skate?” Tim asks, trying not to laugh at the idea even though he definitely should’ve expected it. “You’re such a cheater.”
“Hey, I use TTK when I everything, thanks, and it’s not cheating!” Kon protests with another laugh, which is definitely not the way Superboy would’ve responded to Robin saying something like that. “You’re not cheating when you use your friggin’ ears and eyes, are you?”
“Oh, blind skateboarding, that sounds terrifying,” Tim muses, and Kon laughs again.
“I’d die! You’d die!” he says, sounding incredibly delighted about the prospect.
“So I’m hearing we start with the low ramps, then,” Tim replies reasonably.
“Oh my god, Tim,” Kon cackles, and then ducks in close to throw his free arm around his neck and kiss him again, his TTK wrapping around him for just a quick flash of pressure of its own.
Tim feels–very weird, again.
Specifically, he feels very weird hearing Kon’s voice saying his real name, especially right before kissing him. Kissing him, and also wrapping him up completely in the power he just identified as being as important and natural to him as his hearing and vision and, presumably, any other senses are.
And again, Kon is clearly really, really tactile, so that’s hard not to be weird about too.
Kon leans back, back to grinning at him, and Tim feels vaguely mortified and vaguely like eating him alive and also like this date has gone absolutely nothing like he planned, despite his best efforts. Kon brought him a present and he hasn’t bought Kon anything but an amount of grilled cheese sandwiches that can only be described as “inadvisable” and has in fact spent way more money on himself than he has on Kon, plus they’ve spent basically the whole date so far doing things he likes, not–
“Um, just in case like a building collapses or a supervillain happens or whatever and I gotta run off early, um . . . thanks. For tonight, I mean,” Kon says, the grin he’s barely dropped briefly slipping into something a little shyer, and Tim stares blankly at him for a moment and feels like an insane person, or at least like he maybe just hallucinated that. “I’m really having fun.”
Tim needs to check on the possibility of hallucinations, yeah.
“You are?” he asks, fully bewildered by the idea, and Kon laughs again.
“Obviously, you frickin’ nerd!” he says, then gives him a quick, sheepish smile and another peck on the cheek before turning that almost-inhuman shade of red again and pulling back, putting the board in front of himself and between them. Tim gently simmers to a boil and breaks down into a broth as every single ounce of meat in his body falls right off the bone. “I always have fun with you.”
. . . Tim is maybe less a broth and now more, like, a stew that somebody left in the crockpot all day, or however Mrs. Mac used to do it.
“Oh,” he says, desperately trying to remember how to string a functional sentence together that does not sound like a dropped typewriter. “Uh–good! Good. Um–I’m glad. Good. Me, uh–me too.”
Kon blushes even darker and grins at him again, rocking back on his heels for a moment.
“Cool,” he says. “Um–thanks, Tim. Again. Some more. I dunno.”
Tim, again, feels very weird about hearing Kon say his real name, and some part of him kind of thinks, in an odd and distant way–did he just, like . . . forget how to just . . . not be Robin? Like–how to turn it off, and just feel the actually genuine things as Tim Drake, and not just the mask or the sidekick or the namesake?
Well, that can’t be good.
Kon keeps grinning at him, half-shadowed in the Gotham night and half-lit by electric Gotham streetlights and looking nothing like anything else Tim’s ever seen in Gotham, and Tim is definitely going to need to pencil in a couple hours on Sunday night to be an incoherent mess about him and also maybe, like . . . process some things, maybe. Think some stuff through. Adjust some–
“So like, wanna go make out for a while in the full pipe?” Kon suggests hopefully, tipping his head towards it, and Tim forgets literally every single layer of other thoughts he was having. They are literally no longer relevant to anything and he does not care about a single one of them.
“Yeah, okay,” he says, maybe a little too red himself now, and Kon grins.
The full pipe helpfully informs them both that Tim can, in fact, give Kon a hickey if the other lets him, and helpfully informs Tim that he is never, ever going to be able to be in the same tri-state area as a mind-reader again.
Well, he should probably be avoiding those for the next fifteen years anyway, so whatever.
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I watched the new Ford vid and I wanted to share some thoughts I had on some of the points in your video. Before anything else, I want to say how much I absolutely fucking love everything you do and that, in my opinion, this video is especially spectacular. My intention here is to show my appreciation for your work by demonstrating how I’ve paid attention to it and thought about it, because I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t care, but I’m definitely not trying to criticize or anything. So, keeping that in mind, I’d like to add some thoughts to a couple points that I feel could’ve been expanded upon, even though the video was already five hours long.
First off, when it comes to the science fair thing, the only point where I do kind of blame Ford is that perpetual motion machines are physically impossible and also delicate. I just think he should’ve made something else and, at the very least, checked on it the morning of the fair and I actually think it’s a little ooc that he put all that effort into making it and was so invested in the fair but then didn’t bother to even look at it before the fair itself. There’s also never any recognition of the fact that something like a perpetual motion machine could literally stop at any point for any number of reasons that wouldn’t require external interference. I don’t think it’s a sin or moral failing like some of the other things people said on the topic of the science fair, but I do think there is some responsibility there on Ford’s end that doesn’t get discussed as much.
The second thing is that I just think that the Book of Bill is pretty openly interpretable in terms of whether it’s fully accurate and canon or not, since it’s made by such a flagrant liar. I respect and appreciate that you view the lost journal pages as canon material that, in universe, was written by Ford, but I also feel like it’s important to acknowledge that we don’t really know for sure one way or another unlike with Journal 3.
My next point is that, on the topic of Ford wanting his house back, it’s everything you said and I would add that Stan staying in the house would require their reconciliation. At the time Ford said that, they were actively in conflict with each other after being in separation for 30 years, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t want Stan to keep living with him given all the tension and unresolved resentment. Especially in tandem with the other things you pointed out, I think it makes complete sense that Ford wouldn’t want Stan to keep living there.
So then, when it comes to Ford being upset with Stan because of how Stan ignored all his warnings and opened the portal anyway, my biggest issue has always been Ford’s hypocrisy here. I can appreciate that, even though everything turned out alright, Stan’s choice to open the portal was objectively bad and Ford is valid for being upset, but he’s the one who ignored all the warnings when he summoned Bill in the first place. While I’d never blame him for being a victim of Bill’s abuse, I do 100% blame him for blowing past all the warnings and reading that incantation in the cave, and it’s hypocritical for him to be mad at Stan for doing the same thing.
Next is the “bumbling leech” quote, and my thought here is just that it makes sense for Ford to tell himself that as like a coping mechanism. When he and Stan were in separation, I imagine it would’ve been easier to tell himself stuff like that and try to believe it and try to stay mad to keep his distance, especially once he was on the other side of the portal. After all, keeping a grudge is easier than reconciliation, especially when you and the other person have no emotional intelligence and limited communication skills.
Lastly, when it comes to pathologizing, I think it’s potentially relevant that Stan and Ford are twins so stuff like autism that’s autistic would be a shared trait that both of them have. I just think it could be interesting to get into the genetic components of some of the different diagnoses that have been proposed for Ford, especially NPD since it does have a genetic factor. If people want to act like Ford is a villain because he potentially has NPD, then those same people have to accept that that would mean Stan does to and tbh I’d love to explore how a cluster b disorder like that could potentially make sense with Stan’s character as well. Maybe then we could actually have a nuanced discussion about such things the way you suggested instead of continuing to demonize these disorders, their symptoms, and the people who have them.
Anyway, sorry this was so long but I just wanted to share and I look forward to seeing what else you come out with in the future 🩷
Well, thank you for sharing, though I do think we disagree on a couple of things. As far as a perpetual motion machine being impossible, like, I think that's the point? Like, the idea is "this is an impossible thing, and Ford, being brilliant, figured it out." The idea of "blaming" a 17-year-old for his physics-defying incredible demonstration of a principle that breaks the laws of physics being... not earthquake stable? Or not sturdy enough to survive a punch on the table? I don't know, guys. Like. Lots of marvels of scientific accomplishment are delicate instruments. I think the logic there is faulty. The science fair project falling apart is not Ford's fault. It WAS stable, then something broke. You can't blame him for making an easy-to-break machine. I've seen this argument floating around a lot recently, and I will be honest, it really annoys me. Would it have been smart for him to check under the sheet that Stan put there to hide it? Yeah, maybe. But it feels silly to say that makes him partly "responsible." I dunno. It's all semantics at some point, and it barely makes a difference, but that isn't how I would describe it.
As far as the Lost Journal pages being written by a liar, I did address this in my ATOTS video, and did not repeat myself in the Ford Defense video, but to summarize : I acknowledge that Bill could have lied in these pages, but for the sake of easily having a discussion about it, I do treat it at face value, simply because it would be annoying to need to add that caveat after every point.
(I also am not a personal fan of the theory that it was forged by Bill, but that's a separate topic altogether. No comment beyond that.)
As far as Ford's "hypocrisy" in warning Stan, I think we have different opinions here as well. Like, Ford does not think that Stan ignoring warnings is wrong, but HIM ignoring warnings is okay. He thinks him ignoring the warnings is the biggest mistake of his life and he's deeply angry at himself. If I burned myself on the stove, and then told someone else not to touch the stove because it is hot, I am not being a hypocrite. I am someone who learned something was dangerous.
Even if we disagree here, however, I appreciate you watching, and you taking the time to share your thoughts with me.
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The Sandbox Scientists ch. 3
Sooooo I may have been off about how long this would take, in my defense this is only my second multi-chapter fic! My solution to this is to stop guessing when things will be done so you get ch. 4 when you get it <3
Something I realized when double checking the opening scene is that I accidentally made it very unclear which Henry is narrating XD, I’ve decided to leave it that way
Big chapter this time! I thought about splitting it up but that's lame so you get what you get <3 Happy Thanksgiving!
(a03)
Henry was over the moon.
The adults liked science!!!
The adults like science the way they liked science!!!!!
They weren't mad or grossed out at all! Like the other grown ups and kids were when he talked about it.
The “Lodgers” as they called themselves had shown him and the other him all sorts of cool stuff! Like a GIANT octopus, and a metal man with glowing eyes, the biggest telescope he’d ever seen in his life, and even mice that were invisible!
There were so many labs here that were used for all sorts of things he didn’t understand yet!
Mr. Sinnet even let them hold his flamethrower!!
Not even his mother liked when he showed her his ‘science projects’. But these guys! They let him put his hands in the dirt and pick up a plant that moved!
Other Henry touched some slime that didn’t stick if he was fast enough!
And one of the lodgers gave them candy!
Whatever this place was was the best place EVER! He hoped Momma would let them come back sometime.
Archer, their new friend, leaned next to them while they tried the big lollipops someone named Doodle gave them.
“So, what kinda science is you two’s favorite? Neuroscience? Engineering? Cryptobiology?”
No one ever asked Henry what kind of science he liked! He also didn’t know what those words meant but he couldn’t wait to find out!
“Potions! I like to make potions with stuff I find outside! Oh and monsters! When I grow up I’m gonna be a monster doctor so I can help monsters when they get sick!”
Other him jumped in at this. “Yeah! I’m gonna make potions that bring people back to life, like Frankenstein!”
Someone nearby gasped. A hushed mutter ran through the crowd at this. Lodgers who had started to drift away and chat with their neighbors were suddenly pulled back into the boys’ conversation.
Archer straightened, and had an odd spark in his eyes.
“Sooooo, you like Frankenstein then?”
They nodded, “Mm hm! He’s the coolest scientist ever! I wanna be just like him!”
The whispers grew louder, with people giggling and nudging each other.
“You don’t say? Then I bet it’d be <em>really</em> cool if I were to tell you about a certain someone who’s in town.” Archer mused.
Henry paused in trying to bite his lollipop, “Who?”
Surely they couldn’t mean…
“Oh no one special,” he said, someone snickered behind them, “It’s just that we just so <em>happen</em> to have a certain… mad scientist in our attic right now.”
The boys froze where they were. For a moment Archer got a little worried.
“FRANKENSTEIN?!?!?!??!?!??!”
Frankenstein was having a quiet day.
She’d had her fair share of that in life, living in the wilderness, distancing herself from society. Hell, even before everything she had isolated herself from the world, driven everyone away lest the small minds find out about her incredible experiments.
Which was fine, she didn't need anyone else. So what if the lodgers had barely stopped by to talk to her all day? It didn’t bother her at all! It wasn’t like she took the slightest indication that she was being ignored with anything less than the <em>utmost</em> grace and dignity.
She huffed into her book and pretended not to be eyeing the door instead of it’s pages. Glaring as though hating it personally. As if her lovelies were just on the other side waiting to see her and this stubborn door was the problem.
Creature, the stone wall, was as content as ever with the silence. Enjoying a book of his own in the corner, likely philosophy or something.
Although constant companions and wholly comfortable talking to each other, the two had worn out their conversation topics years ago. Either agreeing on certain things or tired of arguing in circles on others.
There were days when they'd debate for hours about something she was <em>clearly</em> right about and days where they pretended the other didn’t exist.
Lately he often mocked her about her ‘adoring fans’.
Judged her for how greedily she drank up the attention like a surgical sponge. Languishing in the first shreds of approval she’d had in decades.
Well, he hadn't actually said any of that, but he was thinking it! She knew he was!
She could just feel his disapproval in how easily she was letting herself get attached as if it were her own…
Bah! What does he know?
She hears them before she sees them, WAY before she sees them. The gaggle of lodgers charging up the steps with almost as much enthusiasm as they did on her first day awake.
The woman straightened immediately, practically tossing her book aside and giving her full attention to the door.
Finally, Frankenstein’s day was resuscitated as a crowd of almost every lodger in the building burst into her room. All chattering and shifting and even waving at her like her prison of a bed was a grand stage or operating theatre.
They kept a respectable distance considering how small the room was with so many people in it. And she preened under their attention, ignoring creatures sigh at his reading being interrupted.
“Frankenstein! Frankenstein!” everyone called out excitedly. Eagerly talking over each other.
Everyone was smiling and leaning around each other to get a better view of her. All their words blending together.
A hearty laugh bubbled out of Frankenstein’s chest. They were so energetic and curious, smart and idealistic. They were perfect scientist material!
She wanted to put them all in her pocket and take them with her on her travels, tell them stories, show them the world.
Oh, how she resented that idiotic Doctor Jekyll for keeping them in a box. The way he had them eating out of his perfectly manicured hand, thanking him for their gilded cage.
Well it was about time they bit that hand!
Couldn't they see how the world was not in their books and manuscripts, it was out there!
Frankenstein held her gloved hands up to quiet the noise, taking a big breath for what was sure to be a rallying speech that would finally convince the so-called lodgers to fight for their freedom.
“Frankenstein! We have some special guests who want to meet you!”
She was cut off by a few of the lodgers. Fighting their way through the crowd, they were ushering someone to the front, entirely hidden behind the energetic scientists.
Frankenstein blinked in surprise as there, pushed out of the huddle as though in offering, were two…children.
She froze.
A cold wind rushed through her, instantly snuffing out the spark she’d held seconds ago. Cutting through her coat to her core.
The two boys in front of her were distinctive in appearance, it nagged at her, distantly. But all she could see was William.
“These are our newest recruits! Henderson and what was it? Benry? Yeah Benry.”
There was no way anyone named these unfortunate children that, unless London had gotten weird while she was gone, but the two seemed too entranced with her creature to correct them.
The boys weren't even looking at her like everyone else was, eyes instead on the homunculi like he was some celebrity they got backstage tickets to see.
“We found them snooping ‘round our labs!” “Cripes they were hard to catch.” “These two are gonna be fine scientists someday!”
The creature that had killed her youngest brother.
She understood why he did it.
She understood it was her fault.
It was her fault. For making a monster with such strength, just to see if she could. It was her fault for abandoning it, leading to the resentment and hatred for all like her. All Frankensteins.
It was her fault he was dead.
No! It was the price one paid for Science, she was wrong to have attachments then and she would not let herself get attached to these kids now. Not when it meant people got hurt. Not when - aannnnnnd Creature was letting them climb on him like monkey bars.
To her shock Creature was holding perfectly still, staring in utter befuddlement at the small things crawling on him like bugs.
As hesitant as he looked, he wasn’t stopping them. Merely watching.
It was… odd.
This had never happened to him before. Fully grown adults who were hardened from life and trained to deal with criminals turned tail at the mere sight of him, yet here were two children, gazing up at him with round eyes like he was Santa Claus.
“WOW, you’re Frankenstein's monster?!”
“Did you kill Frankenstein?”
“Are you gonna kill someone else?”
“How did Frankenstein make you?”
“Can we be friends?”
“Do you wanna play doctor with us? Mr.Tanis gave me a scalpel!”
One of the lodgers yelped, “What!? I most certainly did not!”
The way they were looking at him…
The lodgers looked at him the same way. At first he had taken it with suspicion, as he did all things. Assuming that their looks were of scientific curiosity, and that they were imagining all the ways they could dissect him. Take him apart and find out how he ticked, just like Moraue longed to.
But now, it was obvious, they were looking at him with childlike wonder.
Creature stared mutely as the lodgers wrestled the knife from the boy with brown hair, not quite understanding it yet.
The blond’s hair tickled as it brushed against his shoulder, though he did not react to it. The two children were being surprisingly careful where they placed their hands, taking care to not pull on any of his seams.
Creature watched as the little one slipped off, landing back first on his lap with an “oof”. The fall wasn't tall enough to knock the breath out of him though, so he seemed fine.
Creature lifted him up, holding the boy in one palm. He giggled in response.
One of the lodgers whose name he didn’t know called out to the boys.
“Hey! Didn’t you want ‘ta meet Frankenstein?”
The man was standing by the bed, gesturing to his creator with a smile.
The two boys gasped and scrambled to her.
The woman seemed almost startled to have her name called, snapping out of her trance.
Frankenstein shook the clashing thoughts out of her head. The two children at her bedside were staring at her, opening and closing their mouths like they couldn’t grasp what question to ask first.
She looked at the one with brown hair. She had snorted instinctively when he pulled an actual scalpel out of nowhere. A fine scientist indeed.
The blonde one had eyes like she’d never seen before. Perhaps he was some sort of creature? Or a descendant of one at least. No humans eyes produced light like that for no reason.
They looked at her like she hung the stars, like she held the secret to life itself. Which she did of course.
No wonder these boys had snuck into the society just to see her! Why, who wouldn’t want to see the infamous Dr. Frankenstein!
And what's more, these precious children were untainted by Dr. Henry’s lies! The false ideas of what a mad scientist should be, reliant on his wealth and equipment.
Victoria had always seen herself as Job, a man who had everything taken from him, everything he loved and everyone who loved him, only to be rewarded for his faith.
She’d always seen the advancement of science as her reward for carrying out her experiments, a higher plane of understanding, the closest a human could come to godhood. But… hadn’t Job’s been everything he’d lost twofold?
Maybe, when she and Creature left London, they wouldn’t have to leave alone.
[I was struck by LIGHTNING when writing this sentence. All of the sudden a whole new plotline was open to me. One where Henry stays with the society and Edward is offered the chance to leave with Frankenstein to the _ forests.
It reminds me of gravity falls when the twins argue over Dipper taking Ford’s internship.]
Frankenstein puffed up her chest and launched into a story.
When Lanyon returned he waltzed through the kitchen door, swinging it open dramatically.
“Rachel, I'm back! I told the tailor Edward lost their bags on the trip here, so they need a new wardrobe.” he crowed, only to see an empty kitchen.
Hm, not in here. He wandered out again, peeking down random hallways.
He hadn't really told them that. As soon as he’d handed off the note and the words “childrens clothes” were out of his mouth Lady Beatrice and Lady Kimberleigh had practically mobbed him. Gushing and asking if he and Everly had finally had luck with a baby. He nearly had to beat the women off with a clothing hanger!
He shuddered at the thought of what rumors would come of this.
Regardless, the outfits were ordered and they could pick up a set in the morning.
“Rachel! Henry! Where in the blazes are you?”
“Robert!!”
He paused in the middle of the hall. That was Rachel. But he’d never heard her shout like that. She sounded almost scared, Rachel never sounded scared! Not even when Hyde disappeared after the fire.
He turned around and was surprised to see her running up to him with wide eyes, her hair a mess like she'd been running her hands through it. Her eyes red and puffy.
“Robert I’ve been looking everywhere and I <em>can’t</em> find them I can’t I've looked everywhere please tell me you know where they are.” she gasped, skidding to a stop.
His eyes widened, heartbeat picking up, “Know where- what?! Rachel you were the one who claimed <em>I</em> couldn't handle them, don’t tell me you’ve lost them already!”
The day manager tried to catch her breath, swiping a lock out of her eye.
“I was-! I took my eyes off them for just a minute! I left them to get changed while I made some sandwiches and I told- I told them to come to the kitchen after but they didn't and I went back for them but they- Robert they weren't there and I’ve <em>looked</em> everywhere oh what if they’ve left the building? Robert I <em>can’t</em> lose him again! I can’t!” she cried.
Lanyon had <em>never</em> seen her like this, she was always so sure and confident, it honestly made him nervous.
She reached out to him for a hug and he flinched back like her arms were livewires.
“Er, Well!! They can’t have gone too far! I’m sure they're just hiding or something. Kids do that, I think. Surely there's some nook or cranny you haven't checked yet!” He was stone stiff oh god where was Jekyll when you needed him, he can't comfort this poor girl!
Rachel just shook her head, curls flying, “No no I checked my room, Henry’s office, I checked all the labs and rooms and bathrooms I can’t think of anywhere else <em>to</em> look!”
“Well, they’ve gotta be here, can't the lodgers whip up some sort of, I don’t know, finding device?” He peered down the hall, hoping to flag down the nearest one and get them to deal with this. Unfortunately it seemed like he was on his own for this one.
“I don’t think that's how it works Lanyon, besides it’d take far too long, what if they're hurt?”
“Well they should at least <em>try</em>.” He huffed, “It wouldn't hurt to have more people looking either. Where are the lodgers anyway?” Now that he thought of it he hadn’t seen anyone besides Rachel since walking in.
Rachel sniffed, rubbing her face and breathing more evenly.
“Oh yeah, they were all running around earlier, some sort of emergency.
I think Griffin finally turned invisible and they lost him or something.”
She looked around, just noticing how empty the halls were.
“Uh, that was a while ago actually. They should have found him by now.”
Lanyon shifted uncomfortably. First Henry and Edward, now the whole society? Whatever was going on couldn’t be good.
In fact, it was almost suspicious how everyone had gone missing at the same time while he was gone…
“Wait. Oh god, What if the lodgers have them? The lodgers hate Henry! What if they took him away? What if they’re experimenting on him right now to find out why he’s small?!” Lanyon yelped.
Rachel frowned at him, “The lodgers do not hate Henry.”
“Oh yeah? What about the exhibition they’re all refusing to take part in? You’ve heard what they're saying about him, that he’s somehow corrupt and ‘rotten’ just because he hasn't gone off the deep end and killed anyone using science or something!”
“They're just going through a bit of a rebellious phase right now.” she defended, “And besides, even if they did, they love Hyde, they drink and play games all the time! They wouldn't hurt him.”
“That's worse!” Lanyon cried. He resisted the urge to run his hands through his styled hair, “Hyde’s planning on killing Jekyll for his will! What if the lodgers are in on it? What if they know he inherits the society? Now would be the perfect time to do it, they probably took him off to Queen Frankenstein while he’s small and defenseless!”
“Edward is <em>not</em> plotting to kill Jekyll!” Rachel shouted, “Would you give that a rest already! As for Franken..stein…”
The two looked at each other with wide eyes and bolted for the stairs.
“And that's when the beast pounced! I dropped my torch and rolled out of the way, I heard it crash into the brush behind me and took the chance to make a break for it. I ran all night, struggling to see my way in the dark and knowing it had no such human limitations.
Miles away from civilization I knew my only chance was to somehow find Creature in the snowy woods before the beast found me.”
The lodgers gasped quietly and whispered to each other, sitting criss-crossed on the floor.
Both children were sat on Frankenstein’s lap, enraptured by her tale. They looked up at her with wide eyes, hanging on her every word.
“At one point I stumbled my way into a clearing, the…vollmond shining down on me. It was close behind, I could hear the thing snapping branches like twigs. I knew the only way was forward and started running. I could barely breathe, my legs felt like lead, with every step I took it only got closer, bounding after me on all six legs. It’s wide maw-”
The door slammed open with a bang. Everyone jumped, some people screaming in surprise.
Everyone whirled around.
At the door were two figures, hidden by the shaded doorframe.
Frankenstein huffed, more annoyed than anything.
“Really doctor, this is the second time you've interrupted my tales for your insipid formula…Oh, the other one.”
The doctor coming toward her was not Jekyll, as she assumed, but Lanyon. The purple man was trudging through the crowd on the floor, stepping on hands and nearly tripping over people in his haste.
She crossed her arms, huffing, “Really, you and your-”
“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”
As soon as he was in range Robert snatched Henry off her lap. Earning a startled yelp from the boy.
Frankenstein jolted, confused. She hadn't seen this man much and while he was never the most agreeable person, she'd never seen him so furious.
She sputtered as he held the boy to his chest the way mothers did when she and Creature walked by. If she were in a better mood she’d get a kick out of the gentleman fearing her more than her creation.
“What in the world do you think you're doing? Grabbing this boy like you own him when I was <em>clearly</em>-!”
“What are you doing to him? Huh? Putting ideas in his head, trying to make him mad like you!” he accused, holding the boy tight while he squirmed uncomfortably.
“I bet you people are trying to brainwash him! Get him involved in unnatural things and mad scientist nonsense!”
Rachel, who was much shorter than the doctor and was caught behind the now-standing crowd of lodgers, tried to call out to him. “Er, Robert! I don’t think-”
“Hey! What's your problem?” “We’re having storytime here!” “You're in the way!” “Leave him alone!” “Frankenstein ain’t done nothing wrong!”
Lanyon turned on the crowd with a snarl.
“Nothing wrong? Are you people crazy? She hit him!!”
Everyone gasped at the wild accusation. Of course they were on her side! Nevermind that Henry was just trying to help her when she hit him! Nevermind that she didn’t even have the grace to apologize!
One of the lodgers he did recognize, Helsby, immediately jumped to the quacks' defense.
“How <em>dare</em> you say that about Frankenstein! You rich pricks are all the same! Slandering good people's names when it suits you!”
“Frankenstein would never do that!”
“Yeah! We’ve been here the whole time and she never hurt him at all!”
Frankenstein herself looked unbelievably offended, her face a likely unhealthy shade of red for someone her age. “Dr. Robert I’m aware you disapprove of my presence here but I have NO intentions of hurting any child.” she spat coldly.
“Oh yeah? Even if that child is Jekyll?” He challenged.
“I- what on earth are you talking about you simpleton, that's not doctor Jekyll thats…”
Frankenstein looked at the boy squirming in his arms, <em>really</em> looked at him.
The smaller boy was still on the bed with her, pulling on the brunette in Robert’s arms. The brunette reached back, holding onto the other, looking at him with red eyes… he had a rather hooked nose…
The lodgers took up her rebuttal with vigor.
“What? Lanyon, did you hit your head man?”
“Yeah obviously that's Benry!”
Robert stared incredulously at the room full of scientists and doctors. Jaw hanging wide.
“<em>Are you telling me not a single one of you realized they're Jekyll and Hyde?!</em>”
Every person in the room stopped still.
“<em>WHAT???</em>”
“What did <em>Jekyll</em> do to get on Ito’s bad side?”
“Wait, you guys didn’t know that?”
“You did??? Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I thought we all knew and just weren't talking about it!”
“WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?!”
“Oh, I thought they were Jekyll and Hyde's secret love children.”
“<em>What?!</em>”
“What, you think one of them's a girl? And besides, Hyde's only worked here the past two years, these guys are older than that!”
“So? Are you saying Hyde didn't exist before then or what? You think Hyde spontaneously came into existence two years ago? Huh?”
“Are YOU saying only girls can give birth? Some gals are guys!”
“Sure but Hyde??”
“He <em>is</em> rather short for a man his age.”
“Actually I was thinking Jekyll, he seems kinda feminine doesn't he?”
“Maybe Hyde knocked Jekyll up and recently found out about them! And he stayed to be a good father!”
“Pfft! Hyde? A good father? Now you're talking crazy.”
“I bet <em>that's</em> why Jekyll’s kept him around so long! He's the father of their children!”
Lanyon felt anger and disbelief rush through his whole body. He worked his mouth trying to say whatever was on his mind that wasn’t straight cussing.
“I - I - NEITHER OF THEM ARE WOMEN AND THESE AREN'T THEIR SECRET LOVE CHILDREN WOULD YOU LOT SHUT IT ALREADY”
Robert held a hand to his temples, his face screwed into a scowl.
“We suspect they were testing some sort of potion and something went wrong, turning them both into children.”
“Both of them drank it?” “What kind of potion?” “Wait but why don’t they remember us?” “Are they stuck like this?”
“Stuck like what?”
He stiffened. For a moment he’d entirely forgotten he was still holding Henry in his arms.
The boy was looking up at him, wide red eyes searching his face for something.
“Are-are we, we didn’t…?”
Suddenly Lanyon realized they had been hiding it. He and Rachel hadn’t mentioned who they were, why they knew them, or the real reason they couldn't go home. Hell they had even left the kitchen earlier to talk out of earshot.
They hadn’t meant to keep it from them. Honestly hiding it hadn't crossed their minds, but, neither did telling them.
It felt wrong somehow. Like they weren't planning on having them around long enough to have the need to explain it to them.
The boys hadn't asked why they knew them, too young to really distrust them. They just assumed all adults knew everything.
Before he had to answer and make everything worse, Rachel cut in. Now free of the jostling crowd and finally making it to Frankenstein’s bedside.
“Er, so, you remember when we found you, and we knew your names?” she asked.
The boys nod slowly, quietly looking at her.
“Well, nobody told us your names, we know them because, well I guess you told us.
We’re friends. We have been for a while, but, you two are supposed to be adults. Like us. Your names are Edward Hyde and Dr. Henry Jekyll. And you work here at the society, like we do.”
Henry tightened his hands on Robert's sleeve, face unreadable.
Edward gaped at the woman, still standing on the bed.
“But- but we’re not, we didn't drink any potions. We were at home!”
“I know, I know this doesn’t make any sense, I’m sorry for that. But, this isn’t so bad is it? We can take care of you! We’re gonna find a way to fix this. Right?”
She glanced at Robert, who was tight-lipped and looking at his friend with a distracted look in his eyes.
“Uh, right.”
“That-That’s ridiculous!!”
Right. Frankenstein was still there.
Robert slowly composed himself, the smugness he felt in realizing the woman had been speechless that whole time fueling his salty soul.
As mad as she had looked earlier, it was a cold sort of anger. This? This sputtering rage was fuming.
“This boy cannot be Dr. Henry! He is a scientist! That blasted doctor is nothing but a-a-a shameful fake and a stain on the name of science itself! Henry Jekyll is a disgrace of an alchemist and false idol of respectability and hollowness!
I detest that horrible man!” She gestured to the boy in Robert's arms, “How dare you make the wild claim that he is…that…”
Her eyes widened as she saw the expression on said boy's face.
Everyone in the room stared in horror as both kids BURST into tears.
“What is <em>wrong</em> with you??”
Rachel grabbed Henry from Robert. Who was holding the sobbing boy as far away from himself as he possibly could. Then snatched Edward up under her other arm. Storming from the room in a hurry.
She could hear Lanyon and Frankenstein start shouting behind her, quickly joined by everyone else.
Rachel kicked the door shut behind them and sprinted all the way to Jekyll’s office.
When they got there she had to put the boys down to open the door.
They had stopped crying by now but were eerily silent. Both looking down at their feet.
“Don’t listen to Frankenstein, both of you. That old hag's hated Dr. Jay since she got here for no reason at all! She isn’t even a real doctor!” she huffed.
Her voice hammered through the silence in a way that almost made her regret speaking at all. But the boys didn’t so much as flinch.
Creasing her eyebrows in worry, Rachel led them to the side room she knew Jekyll usually slept in instead of his own house. She's not sure exactly how old they are right now but they were definitely young enough to need a nap after all that.
As the boys walked past her she snatched Edward up into a hug and <em>squeezed</em>.
He startled, kicking his legs around. “Hey! Stop doing that!”
“Goodness sakes you two! Do you have any idea how worried I was when you ran off? I have half a mind to lecture you for leaving like that! But…” now wasn’t a good time to scold them, “ I’ll let it slide if you chickadees lay down without a fuss.” she promised, nodding to the bedroom.
Henry looked around the room, there wasn’t much to see. More red curtains blocking out the light, a single bed pushed up against the wall, and a rather large wardrobe. Like the office, there were a lot of books, either on shelves or just the floor. There were many frames on the walls but it was too dark to make out many details.
They didn’t have shoes to remove so Rachel set Edward down on the bed, Henry hopping up next to him.
Sniffing, the two nuzzled into the pillows quietly as Rachel tucked the blankets in around them.
Rachel is leaning against the doorway between Jekyll’s office and room when she hears the doorknob rattle.
She startles a bit, instinctively reaching for the kitchen knife in her pocket. <em>I swear to god if that wretch hobbled all the way here just to-</em>
The office door swings open to reveal Lanyon.
He blinks when he sees her, but doesn’t look too surprised. Mostly he just looks tired.
Behind him was Ito, who followed him into the room silently. She nodded at Rachel in acknowledgement, who nodded back.
Rachel peeked into the room, still asleep.
She pushed off the doorframe and with a final glance back, gently closed the door.
Lanyon sighed, stopping at Jekyll’s desk.“I talked to the lodgers, they're not to tell anyone outside of the society about this. Ms. Ito has volunteered to take a look at whatever potion they drank.”
Ito, who had been drawn by the shouting, had been given a rundown by the other lodgers. And, unamused at the grown adults all talking over each other, waited politely til Lanyon was done to offer her services.
“Dr.Jekyll taught me everything I know, if anyone can figure out what went wrong it would be me.” she stated.
“Alright, we think this is the potion they took.” Robert grabbed the glass container lying on the desk to hand to Ito, “It was the only one out of place when we came in, though neither of us actually saw them drink it.”
She nodded, taking the glass and holding it to the light.
There was very little liquid left. It looked to be a dull brown at first but when she tilted in one way and the other there was an oily red and green residue around the edges.
She sniffed at the potion, the smell alone almost made her gag. An unholy mix of so much salt she could smell it and residual fumes that made her head spin. Frankly she's surprised the two men managed to swallow this at all. Though with the things she’s seen Hyde eat maybe she shouldn’t be.
Ito sighed, “This just doesn’t make any sense, Dr. Jekyll would have measured out exact amounts, and certainly taken it one at a time if they were testing something new. Unless it had a delayed reaction.”
“What if it wasn’t something new?” Rachel suggested, “What if they did this a lot and were more casual with it?”
“Maybe, but what would they be so casual with? Do they take the same medication?”
“Mm, not that I know of. Maybe not medicine then? I know Edward drinks random potions sometimes for the hell of it.” she laughed quietly, “One time he vomited some sort of green goo in my sink and ran all the way to Jekyll's office.”
“Not to mention we practically have to force Henry to take medicine when he <em>is</em> sick.” Robert offered. The only thing he knew of Jekyll self-medicating with was wine, and it didn't typically de-age people by almost thirty years.
Ito poked around the desk in silence. She knew Dr. Jekyll was usually a dedicated note-taker, but again, if this was something he did often there would be no reason to.
Frustratingly, the habit of putting ingredients away after herself that the doctor tried so hard to drill into her was working against them now.
Usually it meant that volatile materials weren't lying around waiting to be knocked over and cause messes, or even small explosions. But in this case it meant she had no idea what ingredients were used in this experiment.
Dammit. She sighed and turned to Rachel and Lanyon.
“Alright, so basically I have no clue what this was originally supposed to do, much less how it went wrong, much less how to reverse it.
I can take a closer look at this with some equipment but this isn’t a lot to work with.”
The two looked at her in shock, like she’d grown another head.
Robert bit his lip, tiredness quickly replaced with nervous energy.
“Can’t you just, give them a potion that makes them older?” he asked.
Ito made a face. “I…don’t think that would be a good idea. If we forced them to grow up they still wouldn't have any of their old memories, they'd just be adult-shaped children. And that's <em>if</em> something like that would work and not mix negatively with whatever they've taken. For all we know this could be a temporary side effect, and changing anything would mess everything up.”
“So they just, won’t remember us? Everything we’ve done together, everything we’ve talked about, all the time we spent together is just gone?” Rachel cried, “There's nothing we can do to get them back?”
Robert clenched his fists on the desk.
Ito sighed, “I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I think the best thing to do is just try to wait this out.”
She refused to say something so terrible out loud, but there might not be a solution to this.
Lanyon’s expression is blank with shock, then twists into anger.
“Well are we just supposed to wait forever?! Wait for them to grow up naturally? What about our friends? Our- our-!”
Ito clenched her jaw, “They’re my friends too.” she snapped.
“Look, there’s not much I can do with the information we have, Dr. Lanyon.
Even if I knew what went wrong and how to reverse this we'd need a ton of body parts. One of the most basic rules of alchemy is that mass can't be made or destroyed and I’m not even sure where it went when they shrank!” she said, throwing her hands up.
The neo alchemist took what remained of the potion and walked out of the room, leaving the two leaning over the desk in despair.
“I'll keep working on it but please, don’t get your hopes up.”
She closed the office door behind her to give them some privacy.
#The Sandbox Scientists#the glass scientists#tgs#tgs jekyll#tgs hyde#tgs rachel#tgs lanyon#tgs lodgers#tgs ito#frankenstein#frankensteins monster#tgs frankenstein#tgs creature#tgs au#my fic
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Some people are a little too dramatic about the Red Bull admin posting Chestappen. It's clearly not the same as shipping and just showing a fun dynamic between the people who drive for their team as well as showcasing fan creativity. The "ship" names get used so often in F1 social media now that I don't think people should be dramatic about lines blurring or whatever (and also not something they will stop doing any time soon). It's not like they are reading fics out loud or acting like Max and Checo are dating. They are just showing fun moments. And I feel like we should appreciate admins posting fun things instead of being dramatic all the time.
#miss fine's random thoughts#it's the same as them posting other drivers together#like the way verstappen.com shares stuff#using the “ship” name is just a quick way for people to find the content and engage#and putting a heart on the photo is not the same as bringing RPF into things#people are genuinely too dramatic#also the way some of the people getting so mad about this stuff are the same ones who will say max will marry driver x etc#like in a genuine non rpf way like freaking larries
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when you light up your cigarette from another person's cig it's called the same thing as fucking them in finnish. and. i was drinking with a couple of friends last weekend and now that i think about it there is something funny about standing outside in the cold and having someone ask me to fuck them (= light their cig with mine) in front of their partner bc it's funny (said partner has also done the same to me). and we were all joking and being silly but both me and the partner are the kind of people that are fun to tease and make fun of bc 1. we dont mind 2. we find it funny usually 3. we unfortunately make it v easy, so. anyways i offer the end of my 2nd cig to the person whose cig i lighted earlier bc i wasnt feeling it and they had just declined a full cigarette from their partner bc that was too much at that moment so the partner was jokingly like "whyd you take leevi's cig but not mine" the the convo took a weird turn and ended up in two people who are standing on both sides of me patting my head and leaning on me while calling me a good boy. obviously it doesnt sound as hot in finnish but if i didn't already have a praise kink that would have awakened something in me
#im sorry i NEEDED to get this thing happening off of my chest#bc one of the people involved was someone my bestie cant stand so if i had explained this to her instead of posting here she would have mad#too many remarks about that person and i dont want that#though we did have a grest phone call yap session about other stuff today <3#anyways i left out some stuff from here i think this happened across 2 times of hanging outside on the same night#anyways it was funny#i have to say this was all doing jokingly in a nonserious manner but also most of us are ppl who flirt both accidentally and on purpose whe#drunk so. yknow. not flieting in a serious way though. its like. i dont want to call it smalltalk. u guys know what i mean#jokingly flirting with your friends#thats the phrase#ANYWAYS. ty for letting me get this off my chest#i can now sleep#leevi talks#edit also i dont really smoke it's only a social thing when drunk and about a pack a YEAR so it's fine and doesnt count
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While I'm in a rental and I know it can't be guaranteed to stay, I'm going to plant Richmond Birdwing Vine (pararistolochia praevenosa), Purple Violet (viola betonicifolia), and Native Violet (viola hederacea).
They're the host plants for the Richmond Birdwing and Australian Fritillary butterflies, and I keep seeing that post about a man in America who helped out significantly I think with the California pipevine swallowtail.
There's so much I can't do to help with the environment, but planting a vine I'll need to trim in my own yard alongside a handful of other native plants and having a bit of a veggie garden helps myself, my family, and some animals in the area.
#the solarpunk stuff I see is#well it's frequently all art#and when it's not it's things that feel unattainable/insurmountable to do on top of my daily life#I've a full time job and I have to factor in travel to and from that job (public transport here is shit so it takes about an hour each way)#and then maintaining the house in my free time on what little energy I have left#it feels insane to think 'well I also want to grow more food and store it and make a solar dehydrator and make more food from scratch and#get in touch with people in the community that are like minded. and get mad at our local government for its shitty maintenance of the lake#that has been cautioned against people swimming in it bc it'll make you sick#and this and that and everything else and visible mending also#fuck#so#I'm planting some new plants and impatiently waiting for my tomatoes and that's enough for now 😌
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.
having said which
as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"
which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.
like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.
like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer
and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.
but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.
personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.
idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.
#red said#not to Cancel Culture this but isabelle fall springs to mind in a lot of how folks talk about stuff like this#like she wrote a transgressive piece exploring her own negative feelings about transness and her anger around a transphobic trope#and she made something which i found really resonant and interesting#and she got torn apart for it because it Might From Some Angles Agree With Transphobia#and I'm not making a direct comparison. because i think attack helicopter is a really GOOD story and i think SGA is gratuitous and hack#but that's the thing right? transgression and discomfort and speaking about unpleasant things in an openended way are KEY#to making art that engages directly with your own pains and angers and discomforts#and that's hard to mediate tbh. but it's also very necessary.#i think as well thinking about Gaiman this is also a thought I've often had about Amanda Palmer#who over the years has written a lot of songs about things i find genuinely uncomfortable or offensive.#and i can engage with 'it's fucked up to tell your ex they transed their gender At You' or 'your partner's suicide is not about you' bc yeah#but#you can't celebrate someone for making confessional music then get mad because you don't like everything they confess#if you only take about your socially acceptable thoughts it's not really confessional is it?#if you only talk about discomforting things that people are comfortable hearing about its not really discomforting#and you can only really discern what's Good Transgressive and what's Damaging Transgressive through doing i think#so if you want challenging art you are going to have to get some art which challenges you and you go hmm no i still disagree#is what i think#so yeah you can hate the artwork but when an artist is specifically setting out to make challenging art it's weird to hate them#for making 50 pieces of art you like and 1 you hate
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Anyway,
#911 lone star#repeat after me#owen is not the main character because this is an ensemble show#i mean as a general rule you really should stay out of people's inboxes to bitch at them about something you know they don't agree with#but also people are allowed to call out the show for trying to get clout for diversity and then making it the owen strand show#and not even the 'owen strand is sooo good at being fire captain' show which would at least get us firecrew scenes!#it's now the 'owen does anything BUT fire captain because that's basically like sitting on the bench' show#which is a shame because there are a billion police/fbi procedurals i could watch if i wanted to#but i don't i want the found family hopeful wholesome 911-verse#and when owen IS being captain or being dad to TK or one of the team or a friend for the other captains his scenes are so good!!#i love those scenes and they give us more content for the other ensemble characters#and THAT is a lot of the complaint about the screetime is that it's majorly going to one character doing outside stuff#so not only is it not centered on the other characters but they don't even hardly get to be involved!#ANWAY#don't mind me just tired of hearing people say no one can be mad because owen is the main character#if this was a show with 2 mains and a handful of supporting characters or the show was named after owen in some way i'd get it#but literally he isn't the main character and that is why people are upset
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*sigh*
A lot of y'all gotta stop treating groups of people like some kind of homogeneous hive mind collective, and not a series of independent and wildly different people who just happen to have one or two things in common.
#this is about so much stuff#because people do it so much#even I do#it's probably some kind of bullshit brain thing to help us defend our own sense of self or something similar#and that's why when you confront people about it they get violently defensive about it#it's also why it's such a good way to whip up a crowd against people you don't like#But seriously#y'all are being horrifically cruel#when you don't even realize you are#and it breaks my heart#but also I'm so MAD#because innocent people live in fear#when they shouldn't have to#it's so messed up
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Listen up you idiot zoomers who think people can still make meaningful queer art past the year 2000. We all need to sit around and read USamerican comic strips from the 90s because those are pretty much the only true capture of the universal gay experience now and forever, and anything past that is unimportant schlock. And like pinkwashing I think. We have to learn queer history, thats why we need to all ignore that what Im talking about is joke comic strips from the 90s and instead revere them as the most important work created, with nothing capable of surpassing it. Anyway
#Sorry this stuff is driving me insane I am literally so sick of this shit. I know Ive complained about it before.#Maybe I dont want to spend the rest of my life only watching shit from the 70s/80s/90s by people who are old enough to be my grandparents!#Maybe I want to see shit being made in the present day! Fuck!#Why should we all try to recapture the Bygone Glory of the NYC Gay Scene Of The 80s.#Knowing history is important but you know we also have the current reality of now to deal with. ok anyway.#also on what this is about I hate h/ome/st/uck so much its unreal but people getting really mad about a tumblr poll result#and like it winning over dykes to watch out for which like is comic strips. like#as someone who read h/ome/stuck all the way through. it is queer. Like it did say some resonant stuff.#It does feature a bunch of teenagers realizing theyre gay.#ANYWAY
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every time i see someone say they hate a female character for getting in the way of their ship and no other reason i start barking and growling like a wild animal
#also the way nobody ever says this about male characters Ever. hello#its especially annoying when the character theyre mad at is a character that nobody in their ship has any romantic interest in#so theyre not even getting in the way of anything. like when people go ''i hate amy because sonic should be with sally >:('' or whatever#and i hate so/namy a Lot but im not gonna take that out on amy herself. shes literally just standing there#i also once saw somebody say they hate julie su for getting in the way of k/nuxouge...#not even a huge julie su fan but julie su get behind me ill protect you#Actually back on the subject of the sonally vs s/onamy stuff#from what ive seen most sonally fans these days are pretty normal about amy and about people pairing sonic or sally with someone else#and while there are still some extremely annoying sally/sonally fans out there who still do that sort of thing#its mostly the s/onamy fans who start screaming and crying over sally and other pairings involving sonic existing#in my experience anyway
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just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.
#listen I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE#I mean I'm slightly saddened because I did like it#but he straight-up says it's fully actual physical stop-motion animation at the beginning (factually incorrect)#then later says you won't appreciate the movie unless you like lego a lot and know all about it#specifically saying 'if you can tell the Lego Wild West town from its pirate ship from its spaceman set' (direct quote)#like um idk bro... are you saying you can't???#also this does insinuate that there is one specific set for each of these#which is also factually incorrect but I'm not really mad about that#and then in the comments he kept trying to defend himself by saying stuff about how the movie has a 90%ish rating on rotten tomatoes#and therefore 10% of people didn't like the movie#which is actually. an insane oversimplification of statistics. that's like saying if there are 10 children with an average of 4.5 apples#per child and each child can have a maximum of 5 apples#then 9 of the children must have 5 apples and the other 1 must have none#the 90% in fact includes a large number of people who rated it at 3.5-4.5 stars which is means a lot of them really actually did like it#and just didn't think it was the best movie ever ever in existence or maybe they just had some small qualm with it#the final straw was that someone left a very nice very kindly written piece of constructive criticism asking if maybe the reviewer would#consider saying what about the humor he didn't like (or what kind of humor it was) next time so that the viewer would know whether they#would like it or not as well and I read this and thought 'surely he will respond courteously to at least this one' and he said.#basically 'it's not that the kind of humor didn't suit my tastes. it just wasn't funny'#WHAT THE FREAK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#ALL THIS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WRITING A NEGATIVE REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S YOUR ACTUAL OPINION AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE CONTRARY#BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AN OPINION IS??????#it's MY opinion that it was funny#it's YOUR opinion that it wasn't#you don't get to arbitrarily say that the only reason you disliked the humor was because it was 'bad'#even ethics aren't this black and white#there was another thread where a commenter pointed out that the reviewer seemed to assume there was such a thing as a universal definition#of a good movie and he repeatedly refused to explain himself. like in an 'are you stupid. this isn't worth my time' way#but I won't get into that
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#vent post essay ahead lol#having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad.#the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like#i mean im talking abou t me here obviously.#being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like.#it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help.#i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to#like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m#i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s#i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's#it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus#i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li#i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like#ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!!#because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know#and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like .#i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad.#my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik#my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine#makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS#it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well.#i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum#fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri#you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though#so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do#and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode#and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate.#i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day.#jane mary cry one tear
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